Desserts · Gluten-free

Vegan MoFo: Zombie Apocalypse Instant Chocolate Pudding Mix

     So, I don’t always think about zombies taking over the world…

But, when I do, I think about what I would eat (like, as a human still. otherwise, brains? faces?).

Anyway.

As a vegan, you’re pretty limited out in the wild.  Unless you’re on a tropical island that has coconut and banana trees, you’re stuck foraging in the woods for mushrooms and plants to eat.  And, unless you’re very knowledgeable, picking out which wild mushrooms to eat is a risky task.  Then again, you could be zombie chow at any moment, so go ahead and eat that mushroom over there.  What’s the worst thing that can happen, right?
Other than toughing it in the wild, we vegans can subsist on found pantry foods while looting grocery stores and empty (hopefully) houses.  I like to imagine myself busting into someone’s pantry who has since either passed, turned, or just wandered away from home in search of chocolate pudding.   Little did they know, they had everything they needed right there!

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And apparently they used to shop at Whole Foods!
     I took inspiration for today’s prompt from The Walking Dead.  I’m a long time watcher of the show and I’ve read a bit of the comic, but not enough to call myself an expert by any means.  I like the concept, most of the characters, and the dramatic moments that make me cringe with fear.  Last season’s premiere was absolutely brutal.
Anyway.
I’ve always had a dislike for Carl.  Don’t ask me why.  The kid just annoys me.  I did, however, like the scene in the TV show where he’s pigging out on chocolate pudding out of a can that looks like it’s probably over 10 years old.  He’s sitting on a roof with one shoe on while a zombie is trying to nom him from inside the house.  This entire scene made me laugh because it’s the only instance that Carl seemed relatable to me.  I could see myself in his shoe at that moment.  Sometimes you have to get away from it all and have some “me” time.
Also, as I thought about it, I realized chocolate pudding would be the ultimate survival food if made from shelf stable ingredients.  You could make it easily with a few ingredients that are fairly common, have a long shelf life, and only require minimal cooking (if you absolutely want it to be authentic).  This is also a great meal if you add protein powder like I did.  If you’re gonna run from zombies, you better be well fueled.
Alternatively, you could mix all the ingredients together with the shelf stable milk and just drink it like a protein shake.  It’s liquid pudding.  If there’s anything that separates us from the zombies its our ability to enjoy things like liquid pudding, everyone.
On to the good stuff…☠​🍫

Vegan Instant Chocolate Pudding Mix

Ingredients
(If you can find them! Mwahahaha)
Yield: About 2 servings
Free from: Soy*, Gluten, Nuts*
*Use appropriate ingredients for these variations

  • 1 scoop chocolate vegan protein powder (I used Sunwarrior)*
  • 1/4 cup sugar (I used organic powdered sugar)
  • 3 Tb tapioca/corn starch
  • 1 Tb cocoa powder
  • pinch salt
  • 1 cup non-dairy milk*
  • splash of vanilla extract, opt.

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Instructions

  1. Sift all dry ingredients together or add them to a mason jar and shake it!  (The latter is the preferred method so you can store it in your backpack while on the run.)
  2. In a medium sized mixing bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients.
  3. Dump the dry pudding mix over the wet ingredients and whisk together until fully incorporated and most of the lumps are gone.  If there are some lumps, then don’t stress.  At least you’re still breathing.
  4. In a small saucepan (or over an open flame in whatever vessel you can find), heat the pudding mixture and whisk constantly so it cooks evenly.  After about only 3-4 minutes, it should begin to thicken.  It won’t be long until it comes together into a thick pudding consistency.  When this happens, take the pan off the heat and cool until ready to serve warm.  Alternately, you can chill the pudding until you’re ready to eat it later.
  5. Make sure to savor every bit of it.  Don’t get lost in euphoria for too long.  You never know what’s behind you… 😈☠

Picture

Here’s a nicer photo…if you were to eat it while NOT running from zombies!

Picture

Best enjoyed from a can.

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